April 2013 - OSSOxon

Swim #45 Boulter’s Lock to Monkey Island
by Sefryn Penrose 24 Apr '13

24 Apr '13

Swim #45 Boulter’s Lock to Monkey Island 28th April 10.30am The Trolls of Monkey Island (one for the gamers) Scenario: You are a youth named Swimbrush Neoweed. You arrive in the fictional land of Maidenhead with the desire to become a pirate in order to swim 4.73km to Monkey Island to rescue the beautiful Blackwitch Rubberfest who has been kidnapped by swan-riding trolls and bound to a footbridge with rejected willow fronds. You must seek out Maidenhead’s pirate leaders, who will set you three trials that must be completed before they will become your crew and help you in your quest. Start your adventure at Boulter's Lock car park (you have been here before). http://goo.gl/maps/ZBLi Find pirate crew (they are wearing wetsuits). Pull the alligator’s tongue and talk to the voodoo lady until she has nothing new to say. Take £1.00 from your inventory and use to buy ticket. Congratulations! You have completed the three tasks. Some pirates shuttle a few cars with ALL DRY KIT to Puerto Frondo (aka small free car park) at the swim end and come back: http://goo.gl/maps/cpk7T Avoid swamps and snakes. Travel by foot with pirate crew (who are now bound to you by the unbreakable pirate code) to Boulter's Lock. Admire mysterious flowers. Talk to everyone about everything you can. http://goo.gl/maps/4rsVJ Enter water. Swim or bob to A4 bridge and butterfly underneath it. Onwards past eyot. Salute Brunel’s Grade I Maidenhead railway bridge and butterfly under it. Swim on to Bray lock. Find mysterious stranger. Accept flask of hot sweet liquid and ambrosian biscuits. This will give you strength to continue. Re-enter water (if you are warm enough) and continue on to butterfly under M4 bridge, and stay right to new footbridge beyond. Butterfly underneath. All butterflying must be completed successfully or trolls will sacrifice Blackwitch Rubberfest to Old Father Thames. Butterflying appeases angry fronds who release Blackwitch. http://goo.gl/maps/hYFFj Cross over bridge on frozen foot stumps to Thames path. Account for rest of pirate crew and defeat trolls in single combat with neoprene gloves and silicone hats. Arrive Puerto Frondo (aka free car park) where Blackwitch Rubberfest has your dry clothes. Return to fictional Maidenhead and eat heartily. Yours, Captain Banjo and First Mate LeSnee and the Silver Arowanas of Monkey Island ------------- By joining any jolly jaunt with Jeremy and Sef you agree to abide by the Outdoor Swimming Society's Swim Responsibility Statement: http://www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/index.php?p=swimming_tips&s=responsib… Before signing up to join the OSS or partaking in any swims mentioned on this site or the Outdoor Swimming Society facebook page, please read the OSS swim responsibility statement. By signing up to join the society, or participating in any swims, or using any material on the Wild swim map you confirm that you have read and understand the OSS swim responsibility statement and accept its terms. OSS Oxon mailing list OSSOxon(a)earth.li http://www.earth.li/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/ossoxon Please note that OSS Oxon exists to put swimmers in touch with other swimmers, not to organise swim events or in any way suggest that outdoor swimming is a safe activity or that you should go swimming. If you choose to swim you do so entirely at your own risk and on your own initiative, and any plans you make are your own responsibility.

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½ birthday swim party!
by Sharon Curtis 23 Apr '13

23 Apr '13

November is when my birthday falls, but the water is too cold then for us non-wetsuiters. So instead you are all hereby invited to my 42½ birthday party, to be held at 4pm on Mon 6th May. There will be cake. The plan: meet at 4pm Newbridge, then swim downwards towards Northmoor Lock (distance according to preference and water tembrrrrrrrature). The late afternoon swim should dodge most of the bank holiday vehicular traffic on the roads and boat traffic on the river. Then back to the pub (Rose Revived) for grub. Please let me know if you're planning to come so I can book an appropriately-sized table. Now where do I book the sunshine? Sharon

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OSS Swim the Thames #44 SUNDAY 14th APRIL 10.30am Cookham Lock - Cliveden - Boulter's Lock
by Sefryn Penrose 16 Apr '13

16 Apr '13

Now come a little closer darlink, milaya moya, yes yes rest your head on my pillow, we have little talk, yes? Little pillow talk - you, me, Mandy and Christine too? You come to Thames swim party *#44 on SUNDAY 14th APRIL at 10.30am.* You meet me in car park near Boulter's lock (only £1 for the day) at 10.30am: http://goo.gl/maps/Z9BLi Maybe we take our clothes off yes? Maybe put on some rubber? My friend osteopath take care of you. Maybe we get in friend's car - he big man in mac - work for Government - shuttle up to Cookham unisex outdoor changing rooms here (easy drive straight up Lower Cookham Road / Sutton Road (A4094): http://goo.gl/maps/8Pxjf We have brisk walk to Cookham lock across Odney Common. We maybe have a little fun with birch twig. We enter water here at Cookham lock: http://goo.gl/maps/FmqV6 Lord Astor have swimming pool but much nicer in river no? Maybe we have little splash-splash past Lord Astor's house, Cliveden, maybe look at who else is in the pool but saying nothing shhh. We want to have good long swim, no? so you can tell me everything that man in mac said about British naval movements down CLIVEDEN DEEP (very deep). You think this too cold for swim party? Back home in Soviet Union, me and other naval attaches, we have swim parties in freezing Baltic. My babicka, she have swim party for hours in -20 degrees. Maybe we swim for 3.3km. If precious darling get cold, we get out early, or get in a little later - plenty places for bit of nooky on bank. My friend osteopath sort you out. He bring hot flask and biscuit. Naughty friend. Hywel Rice-Davies, he already been to swim party here, he say you stay close to me to RIGHT as we get to lock as current very strong, and I very strong too, and then we swim very hard up final stretch up lock cut. He say Thames path is on right and we can get out early if have to. He also say can do extreme wading. Then, we get out here at Boulter's lock: http://goo.gl/maps/EHVVe If you good girl, we take off rubber and I take you for lunch. At lock is Boulter Restaurant with Terrace Bar. We get binoculars out and see what other naval attaches are doing. Maybe you go tell British Government man what Soviet ships are doing in Cliveden Deep. http://www.boultersrestaurant.co.uk/boulters-terrace-bar/menus/ You sit on chair anyway you like. You want keep clothes off? Is fine. My friend, osteopath he give you massage. Afterwards, we run you back pick up car from Cookham. Very hush hush secret swim party. You tell everyone yes? Bring friends? Yours, Scandalous Naval Attache and the profumo di mare of the Cliveden Deep By joining any jolly jaunt with Jeremy and Sef you agree to abide by the Outdoor Swimming Society's Swim Responsibility Statement: http://www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/index.php?p=swimming_tips&s=responsib… Before signing up to join the OSS or partaking in any swims mentioned on this site or the Outdoor Swimming Society facebook page, please read the OSSswim responsibility statement. By signing up to join the society, or participating in any swims, or using any material on the Wild swim map you confirm that you have read and understand the OSS swim responsibility statement and accept its terms. OSS Oxon mailing list OSSOxon(a)earth.li http://www.earth.li/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/ossoxon Please note that OSS Oxon exists to put swimmers in touch with other swimmers, not to organise swim events or in any way suggest that outdoor swimming is a safe activity or that you should go swimming. If you choose to swim you do so entirely at your own risk and on your own initiative, and any plans you make are your own responsibility.

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