[I’d like to stop writing posts like this. I’ve been trying to work out what to say now for nearly 2 months (writing the mail to -private to tell the Debian project about his death is one of the hardest things I’ve had to write, and I bottled out and wrote something that was mostly just factual, because it wasn’t the place), and I’ve decided I just have to accept this won’t be the post I want it to be, but posted is better than languishing in drafts.]

Last weekend I was in Portland, for the Celebration of Life of my friend Steve, who sadly passed away at the start of the year. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ve struggled to work out what to say about Steve. I’ve seen many touching comments from others in Debian about their work with him, but what that’s mostly brought home to me is that while I met Steve through Debian, he was first and foremost my friend rather than someone I worked with in Debian. And so everything I have to say is more about that friendship (and thus feels a bit self-centred).

My first memory of Steve is getting lost with him in Porto Alegre, Brazil, during DebConf4. We’d decided to walk to a local mall to meet up with some other folk (I can’t recall how they were getting there, but it wasn’t walking), ended up deep in conversation (ISTR it was about shared library transititions), and then it took a bit longer than we expected. I don’t know how that managed to cement a friendship (neither of us saw it as the near death experience others feared we’d had), but it did.

Unlike others I never texted Steve much; we’d occasionally chat on IRC, but nothing major. That didn’t seem to matter when we actually saw each other in person though, we just picked up like we’d seen each other the previous week. DebConf became a recurring theme of when we’d see each other. Even outside DebConf we went places together. The first time I went somewhere in the US that wasn’t the Bay Area, it was to Portland to see Steve. He, and his family, came to visit me in Belfast a couple of times, and I did road trip from Dublin to Cork with him. He took me to a volcano.

Steve saw injustice in the world and actually tried to do something about it. I still have a copy of the US constitution sitting on my desk that he gave me. He made me want to be a better person.

The world is a worse place without him in it, and while I am better for having known him, I am sadder for the fact he’s gone.