[OSS Oxon] OSS Swim the Thames #44 SUNDAY 14th APRIL 10.30am Cookham Lock - Cliveden - Boulter's Lock

Stanley Ulijaszek stanley.ulijaszek at anthro.ox.ac.uk
Fri Apr 12 19:30:38 BST 2013

I'll be there. I won't be able to go to the pub afterwards, so will make my own way there  (for Jeremy)

All best wishes


From: ossoxon-bounces at earth.li [ossoxon-bounces at earth.li] on behalf of Sefryn Penrose [sefryn at gmail.com]
Sent: 10 April 2013 15:10
To: OSS Oxon
Subject: [OSS Oxon] OSS Swim the Thames #44 SUNDAY 14th APRIL 10.30am Cookham Lock - Cliveden - Boulter's Lock

Now come a little closer darlink, milaya moya, yes yes rest your head on my pillow, we have little talk, yes? Little pillow talk - you, me, Mandy and Christine too?

You come to Thames swim party #44 on SUNDAY 14th APRIL at 10.30am.

You meet me in car park near Boulter's lock (only £1 for the day) at 10.30am:

Maybe we take our clothes off yes? Maybe put on some rubber? My friend osteopath take care of you.

Maybe we get in friend's car - he big man in mac - work for Government - shuttle up to Cookham unisex outdoor changing rooms here (easy drive straight up Lower Cookham Road / Sutton Road (A4094):

We have brisk walk to Cookham lock across Odney Common. We maybe have a little fun with birch twig.

We enter water here at Cookham lock:

Lord Astor have swimming pool but much nicer in river no? Maybe we have little splash-splash past Lord Astor's house, Cliveden, maybe look at who else is in the pool but saying nothing shhh. We want to have good long swim, no? so you can tell me everything that man in mac said about British naval movements down CLIVEDEN DEEP (very deep).

You think this too cold for swim party? Back home in Soviet Union, me and other naval attaches, we have swim parties in freezing Baltic. My babicka, she have swim party for hours in -20 degrees.

Maybe we swim for 3.3km. If precious darling get cold, we get out early, or get in a little later - plenty places for bit of nooky on bank. My friend osteopath sort you out. He bring hot flask and biscuit. Naughty friend.

Hywel Rice-Davies, he already been to swim party here, he say you stay close to me to RIGHT as we get to lock as current very strong, and I very strong too, and then we swim very hard up final stretch up lock cut. He say Thames path is on right and we can get out early if have to. He also say can do extreme wading.

Then, we get out here at Boulter's lock:

If you good girl, we take off rubber and I take you for lunch. At lock is Boulter Restaurant with Terrace Bar. We get binoculars out and see what other naval attaches are doing. Maybe you go tell British Government man what Soviet ships are doing in Cliveden Deep.


You sit on chair anyway you like. You want keep clothes off? Is fine. My friend, osteopath he give you massage. Afterwards, we run you back pick up car from Cookham.

Very hush hush secret swim party. You tell everyone yes? Bring friends?


Scandalous Naval Attache and the profumo di mare of the Cliveden Deep

By joining any jolly jaunt with Jeremy and Sef you agree to abide by the Outdoor Swimming Society's Swim Responsibility Statement:


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