Short version:

Meet 10.45 (10.30 for peeps with that little extra to do - me, Pam, Paul?) at Riverside, Teddington - by blue start pin in The End map.

Shuttle most up to Lower Ham Road leaving dry stuff behind.
Swim down. Hop over lock. Fish slap dance. Swim to obelisk. Have photo taken as here:

Make sure to bring smart hat for photoshoot. Get out. Get dressed. Walk or shuttle to party boat.

Party.

Locations.
http://goo.gl/maps/P6pvp

Long version:

Suggest pouring yourself a whiskey, making sure the neighbours are out, perhaps putting this on for some backing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egY8rUpxqcE

Or grab your uke and play along.
And off you go.

Just do it your way.

         D             D7+
And now we’re at the end

            A6                   B7
Oh yes we face the final lock cut

            Em                  Em7
My friend, we swam the Thames

            A7                               D
From start to end, we swam it all but...

            D7                   D7+ D7
We have one more to do

            G                      Gm
Just one of 150 miles

            D                     A7
And all, almost all of this

            G Gm6 D
We did it freestyle

D                    D7+
Beset, by boats and crew

            A6                   B7
We met them all with brave intention

Em                  Em7
Tracy did what she had to do

            A7                               D
And asked each one for some libation

            D7                   D7+ D7
We planned each charted course

                        G                      Gm
Each careful stroke around each isle

D                                A7
And starting at the source

            G Gm6 D
We swam it freestyle

D
Yes there were times

Am7
I’m sure you know

G              G
Where we drank more

Gm6
More than we could swallow

Em7                            A7
We’ve bobbed and waded on

F#m7                          Bm7
And Chris’s Garmin buzzed at every mile

Em7                            A7
Adam wrangled every swan

G Gm6            D
And we did it freestyle

D                     D7+
Sewage burst its tanks

A6                   B7
We had our fill of good Thames water

Em                  Em7
But Charles was on the bank

A7                               D
With Macaroons, and tea for afters

D7                   D7+ D7
To think, we did all that

G                      Gm
From trolls we never shied away

D                     A7
Oh no, we butterflied

            G Gm6 D
Each six-lane highway

D                                             Am7
Meet at Riverside Drive, faff, put rubber on

G                        G                              Gm6
From Kingston Bridge, swim to Teddington

Em7                            A7
And Port of London jurisdiction

F#m7                          Bm7
Now what will feed Neil’s addiction?

Em7                            A7
Just one more mile, then we’ll swim the Nile,

G Gm6 D
We’ll do it freestyle

We did it freestyle

Signin' off,

Ol' Father Blue Eyes and the ratpack fish of the Tidal Thames

Elvis has left the building.

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Please note that OSS Oxon exists to put swimmers in touch with other swimmers, not to organise swim events or in any way suggest that outdoor swimming is a safe activity or that you should go swimming. If you choose to swim you do so entirely at your own risk and on your own initiative, and any plans you make are your own responsibility.