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<font face="Arial narrow,arial" color=996633><B><I>Joke of the day</I></B><BR>
<B>You're in big trouble</B><BR>
The new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.<BR>
The Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area. <BR>
My assistant began responding to my memos with, Yeah, whatever. <BR>
I got a "It's for you loser" wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime. <BR>
My new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx last weekend. <BR>
The Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record. <BR>
The Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract. <BR>
I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work. <BR>
My parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster. <BR>
My secretary says things like Get the phone, my nails aren't dry. <BR>
Three people began helping me write a "desk manual" for my job. <BR>
The LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes. <BR>
A large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets. <BR>
The receptionist began saying Who ? to anyone calling on me. <BR>
<B>Thoughts and stories from on the job</B><BR>
My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, Is this what you get paid for ? I told him, Nope ! I do this for free. <BR>
This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. I couldn't resist and added a note: And now you know why too. <BR>
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work ?" I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions ?" She said, Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ? <BR>
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah ??? When's the last time ya ever heard of anyone who rested to death.<BR>
Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever. There was never anybody around to appreciate it. <BR>
Our Office was always on the cutting edge of technology. Not only did we have computers which spoke as well as listened; Hell, some of them even got ulcers. <BR>
Did ya ever notice the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop & tell everyone that they don't have enuff time to do all their work.</font><p><BR>
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